Cookies
by addictedtomarbles
Summary: Gojyo gets hit by memories, a bad mood and something else.


I return with another piece of fluff and I'd be incredibly grateful for reviews  
  
Cookies

* * *

Yeah there was a youkai out there, he had tried to drag her away, poor kid was crying her eyes out  
  
What did he look like?  
  
Tall, black hair, birthmark across the nose Across the nose?  
  
Yeah, what's wrong, Gojyo?  
  
Dunno, what was his name?  
  
I didn't ask. The guy was looking for someone though. He obviously stopped off for some sport with one of our girls along the way ... soon beat that out of him though! Looking for someone? Who? Did he say?  
  
No, but he was muttering something about his father as we got rid of him. Hey, Gojyo you look really pale, have some more beer... What's wrong? Surely you don't have business with scum like that ... hey, where you going?! I thought you wanted to play poker?!

* * *

Gojyo walked home, trying to clear his head. All he had wanted to do was get some food shopping for Hakkai and some decent cigarettes then stop off for a drink and few card games at the bar. Obviously that had been too much to ask because it had turned into an interrogation. One of the regular's daughters had been snatched by a youkai and they had given chase. That sort of thing normally didn't bother Gojyo in the slightest, there were some bastards around youkai or human. However, the guy they had described had sounded so much like Jien ...  
  
"Couldn'ta been him." Said Gojyo decisively, sparking up a stub of cigarette that had lost its flame. Still, the realisation of his own reaction indicated that he still felt strongly about his brother. After all, his brother had given him life over his own mother; Gojyo couldn't help loving the only person who had shown him love through his troubled childhood. In his minds eye, Gojyo could still see his mother falling to the ground, blood spattering across the wounds already on his cheeks; the silver glimmer of the sword and the heartbroken eyes of his brother staring back at him with tears dripping off his chin. It still hurt. Like the cigarette that was burning closer to his lips, it hurt.  
  
"Shit." Gojyo swore as the cigarette stub stung sharply at the same time as his eyes and he spat out the burning stub. He swiped at his eyes and let loose a string of curses as the movement not only caused him to stand on the cigarette but also to drop the bag of groceries he was bringing back. Luckily upon closer inspection all of the stuff he had bought was okay but it did nothing improve his mood. Gojyo picked up the bag, pulled out a fresh cigarette, lit it and started his walk home again.  
  
"Gojyo?" came the pleasant voice as he let himself in, Gojyo sighed inwardly. Not that he didn't like his housemate, in fact it had been the happiest day of Gojyo's life when the guy had come back alive from the temple, but right now he wanted to see no one, let alone someone who would give him unconditional sympathy and love. If Gojyo was going to wallow in a pit of angst then he wanted to do it properly. He put the brown paper bag on the table.  
  
"Got the stuff you said... I'm off in the shower. See you later Hakkai." He said simply and vanished in the direction of the bathroom.  
  
Hakkai ventured out of the kitchen looking bewildered. He had heard the door slam, Gojyo cursing under his breath, the crash of a paper bag and keys and had come to investigate. He had then heard the harshly barked phrase and the bathroom door slam as if to confirm Gojyo's intentions. The brunette looked in the direction of the bathroom and his heart dropped a little. Something was obviously wrong here. Hakkai reached over for the paper bag and inspected the contents, feeling a little jolt of pleasure that Gojyo had picked up everything he had listed.  
  
"I'll wait until he comes out of the bathroom." Murmured Hakkai, taking the bag over to the cupboards where they stored their food.  
  
Hakkai hated it when Gojyo was upset, possibly because it was so easy to tell and mainly because the half-breed would close up like a clam. The hanyou would become quiet and his remarks would fade into nothing. The urge to be alone would come upon him as well as the urge to do something drastic and naturally, Hakkai worried. It was this kind of mood that had prompted him to cut off his long red hair when he had been told of the death of Cho Gonou. So of course Hakkai worried, Gojyo was his closest friend and he didn't want him to do anything he'd only regret later. As he put away the new bottle of soy sauce and took down a bag of flour he wondered upon whether striding into the bathroom and dragging Gojyo out.  
  
"I'll wait." He murmured, rummaging in the paper bag to pull out a large bag of snow-white sugar and a stick of sunshine yellow butter carefully wrapped in wax paper. He also pulled out a knife and slashed the bag of flour open, sending a cloud of white into the air. Hakkai raised his eyebrows in an idea "I'll wait."

* * *

Gojyo slammed off the shower and squeezed water out of his hair, which had now managed to grow back down to his jaw. Luckily, hacking it off had only really persuaded it to grow faster and become more luxuriant. Gojyo had never realised just how much he had been fond of his long hair until he had chopped it off and the thought that it was growing fast, pleased him a little. Although not even that thought was pleasing him at the moment.  
  
"At least Hakkai isn't hunting me down." He said to his reflection, although truth be known he was hurt that the brunette hadn't come into the bathroom to check on him. Normally Hakkai would follow him around, being a willing listener and generally just being there. He had looked after Gojyo not so long ago when the redhead had been ill with fever as well as staying up into the night playing cards when they couldn't think of anything better to do. Hakkai just had this uncanny knack for simply being a comforting presence and Gojyo actually missed him now.  
  
"How did I ever become so attached to someone?" Gojyo mused, combing out the damp locks of hair and yanking on a loose pair of jeans that had seen far better days. They had been hanging up on a rail in the bathroom, merrily airing and smelled fresh and clean. Hakkai again. They had both done laundry a few days ago and Hakkai had hung up Gojyo's clothes where he knew the hanyou would probably put them on.  
  
"Jien would do that." Murmured Gojyo; remembering his brother laying out clothes at the foot of his bed so he would know where they were. The thought immediately blackened his mood again and he pulled on an old shirt and stormed out the bathroom.  
  
Gojyo slumped on one of the chairs at their worn wooden table and reached out for another pack of cigarettes. He flicked the lighter and watched the blue-tinged flame flicker and dance for a few moments before holding the cigarette in it and gratefully drawing in a deep breath. The nicotine stung his throat and Gojyo convinced himself that it was stinging his eyes too.  
  
"Gojyo?" came the soft voice.  
  
"Not now Hakkai." He answered, suddenly really not wanting to see his housemate anymore; wallowing in the pit of misery was too attractive right now.  
  
Hakkai strode into the room, wearing a simple once-black apron and holding a towel. He was coated with a fine dusting of white and sneezed involuntarily. Gojyo looked up in disbelief.  
  
"What the hell?"  
  
"I wouldn't ask Gojyo, but I could use a hand in the kitchen if you don't mind." Said Hakkai amiably, brushing at the flour stains that coated the apron and disguised its true colour and in doing so displaying a fresh plaster on the back of his hand. Gojyo flung back the chair.  
  
"Damn man, what are you trying to do?" he asked all concerns and self-pity being thrown out of the window upon the sight of that one flour-dusted plaster. No one could hurt Hakkai, not even Hakkai himself; it drove him into a frenzy of concern.  
  
"Show me." He demanded.  
  
Hakkai led the way to the kitchen and Gojyo followed, curious as to what he would see. Upon entry, he saw a large bowl on the work surface with some tan-coloured mixture in it, a wooden spoon lying on the floor and flour. A knife lay discarded on the floor some distance away with a faint sliver of red on the blade and flour and mixture on the handle. There was a dusting of flour all around the bowl and the work surface, giving everything a snow-tinged look. Hakkai looked mournful.  
  
"I guess I tried to do too much at once." He said, swiping at the flour. "I discovered a recipe for something called cookies and wanted to take some with me next time I go to tutor Goku, but I seen to have messed up." He looked plaintively at Gojyo. "Will you help me? It shouldn't take very long."  
  
Gojyo personally couldn't believe what Hakkai was asking. Normally the quiet brunette would never ask for help in the kitchen, especially during the cooking. Gojyo normally had to enforce a guilt trip just to help with washing up and most of time he gave up. Going up against Hakkai's stubbornness was like playing poker with the spades missing, you were already flawed before you even started. However, Hakkai was stood in front of him, with an expression of total honesty and happiness. Gojyo held out his hand.  
  
"What do I do?" he asked, looking curiously at the flour-dusted utensils that lay before him. Hakkai held out a sieve.  
  
"If you could hold this still while I pour the flour through? That would be good." He said sweetly, holding up the bag of flour.  
  
Gojyo did as he was told and held the metal sieve over the bowl, watching the flour be shaken through it like fine flakes of snow. He felt the urge to run his fingers over the constantly decreasing white pile and make fingerprints and patterns in it. He sighed a little and in doing so breathed in a little of the flour; it itched like crazy. He tried to hold back the sneeze but simply ended up sneezing louder than expected.  
  
The cloud of flour dissipated.  
  
"Oh my." Murmured Hakkai, his voice choked with laughter. "I think you eat the finished result, not the ingredients!"  
  
Gojyo looked pointedly at Hakkai through his forelocks of hair that were now pink.  
  
"Funny ... Look, I haven't done this before, okay." He said harshly turning back to the discarded sieve and holding it like it was a knife. "Just shake the stuff in, okay?"  
  
Hakkai nodded and finished pouring the rest of the flour into the bowl in silence. He didn't understand what had happened but it had obviously left his dear friend very upset. Hakkai wanted to push it but didn't know how to just yet. He handed over a large wooden spoon.  
  
"I've never made these before either." He said softly, taking away the sieve from Gojyo and giving his the spoon. "Could you mix the flour in?" he asked quietly.  
  
"Yeah." Gojyo answered, feeling like scum now that he had upset Hakkai into the bargain. The brunette was obviously trying to gloss over his hurt feelings.  
  
"Ne Gojyo, should we make shapes or not?" he asked suddenly.  
  
Gojyo shrugged.  
  
"Isn't this more of a kids thing?" he asked, suddenly finding the mixture more difficult to stir. Hakkai shrugged.  
  
"Maybe. I thought it's would be good to do though. Goku doesn't get much like this at the temple." He said smiling and holding up a bag of chocolate chips. Gojyo nodded and remained stirring.  
  
_No._ Thought Gojyo. _He doesn't really, hanging around with The Grouch and a bunch of baldies all day would hardly yield stuff like this. I wonder if I would have ever made cookies like this with mother – and father if he had been there. Even Jien. Father wasn't there. Mother was ... well Mother ... and Jien ... Jien was doing enough just to protect me from day to day... Shit... Shit, Hakkai why are you making me think such things? Why couldn't you just leave me the hell alone?_  
  
He was about to hurl the spoon across the kitchen and stomp out of the apartment to find a bar to swim in when strong arms encircled his waist. Smooth, unblemished hands that belied their raw physical strength covered his own hands; gently guiding the wooden spoon in figures-of-eight. He tried to jerk away.  
  
"What the hell..." he snapped crossly.  
  
"Helping you stir." Said Hakkai's lips close to his ear. "You aren't folding in the flour."  
  
Gojyo gritted his teeth.  
  
"Look, Hakkai I've never done this before okay?!" he said, aware of his voice raising in anger. His temper had been bubbling all day and now it was let loose. He shoved Hakkai away from him so he could turn to face the dumbstruck brunette. "You might have spent your childhood baking fucking cookies and learning how to play but I didn't! I can't fucking do these things! So just, accept it!" he yelled, hurling the wooden spoon at the mixture.  
  
Gojyo pushed past Hakkai and went to leave. Hakkai frowned, he knew he had to break Gojyo's mood somehow.  
  
"Gojyo?" came the soft voice behind the redhead, almost pleading.  
  
"What!" he shouted turning back, almost prepared to swing for his best friend.  
  
Before he could say anything, a ball of wet dough arced gently through the air and hit him in the face. It stuck first to his eyebrows and nose, before flowing down his face, over his lips and landed with a distinctly satisfying splat on the floor at his feet. Gojyo stood there, too shocked to say anything, just blinking away the dough that clung to his eyelashes.  
  
"What ... the...? You ... threw ... dough ... at me?" He stammered.  
  
Hakkai came over with a cloth, green eyes twinkling with amusement. With satin-soft touches he gently wiped away the remaining dough from Gojyo's dazed expression. When he was satisfied, he put both hands on Gojyo's shoulders, hoping that the redhead wouldn't try to punch him in anger; Gojyo did look like he was struggling to keep a lid on it all.  
  
"I'm not going to try and prettify your memories Gojyo, or pretend that what happened to you wasn't awful. However I can help you build new memories, ones that aren't so painful, but sometimes you have to get over that initial fall first." Gojyo drew in a breath to speak but Hakkai put a hand across his mouth, the hand was warm and smelt of cookie mix. "And if you refuse, I will throw the rest of the cookie mix at you and you will have to explain to Goku where it all went." He smiled and drew his hand away.  
  
Gojyo started to smile, and then stepped forward.  
  
"I ain't explaining nothing to that greedy monkey, he might decide to eat me." He said, chuckling anf picked up the greased baking sheet. "Okay, fine, I surrender sensei. What do I do?"  
  
Hakkai offered him the bowl with a wink and a genuinely cheerful smile.  
  
"Take small handfuls, roll them into balls and place them on the sheet." Hakkai demonstrated, putting the ball on the sheet and pressing down on the ball with his thumb.  
  
Gojyo copied his movements and Hakkai smiled as the balls started to take shape on the tray. Gojyo saw Hakkai putting in the first completed tray and marvelled at how the brunette had brought him to the brink of violence and then calmed him down so quickly. Hakkai could read him like no one else could, but would always solve his problems and downers under the cover of something else. Like making cookies. Like deliberately upsetting the flour so he could get Gojyo's attention. Hakkai just knew what to do.  
  
Gojyo was grateful for that much. He had gone without such company for so long before that he thought he didn't need such things anymore. Hakkai's almost-iron determination to look after him, console him and stay with him was touching. He looked down at the final baking tray of cookies; Hakkai had been putting chocolate chunks on them and spelling out his name. Gojyo grinned, and marvelled how something so silly could bring him the companionship he had always craved.  
  
"Thanks Hakkai." He said, leaning over and dropping a kiss on his friend's flour-tinged cheek.

* * *

A/N: She returns with another one-shot and she would love it to be reviewed. This comes from making cookies with a friend not so long ago. I will make a recommendation too and it is simply Yuki Kajiura, absolutely amazing!


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